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experience
August 2009 
When in your life have you felt most out of control?
Posted on Feb 10th, 2008
by 
maornot
maornot
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 10, 2008:
It may be contrary to some (yogaic and other) beliefs but the one period in my life that i completely LOST and forgot to listen to myself, was when i was trying to help someone. Perhaps too desperately, now, in hindsight. There was little but some returning to my good energy. i had to work it up hard at times. i started yoga to keep me alive and sane. It was when i was trying to rescue someone from loosing themselves. i gave him a lot of love, unasked for. Why did i give love so freely (along with material things)? perhaps to cleanse myself from all my defaults in my life? perhaps to set an contrast example in someone's life who was surrounded by not-so-good examples but who had tons of amazing potential? who knows. In the course of that one year, i almost forgot myself and suffered from it, to the point of forgetting essential things like aikido and hunger. - As my yoga teacher tried to remind me at that time, some souls are doomed to be the Underdog that will go down, to make me accept the fact that his life may be lost. - It was a very exceptional year because apart from that one year (to date!?!) i am enjoying this life tremendously.
Then again, i was even enjoying that year of utterly being lost.
Then again, i was even enjoying that year of utterly being lost.
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Hey, this myth about commitment to beliefs necessarily leading all of your decisions, is just that, a myth. As humans we will always be compelled to act on the spot… sometimes, as in your case, the particular guiding belief might not be conscious at all! Your desire to help someone if you are that way inclined will sometimes over-ride the most logical of us, the most grounded, the most enlightened… And I definitely speak from experience on this one [I did it many more times than once]! The good thing is, the goodwill that you extended to them, even if they are a die-hard die-hard [adverb and noun forms of the die hard] was noted by the universe, and your return blessings are inevitable. Isn't that just wonderful to know?
Have a great day. Sherri
While aware that the situation was unusual i kept imagining stretching exercises of the self during the pain. But extreme situation called for loss of balance, and over-stretching, when not much gave. Like you, i am learning and have paid more attention to balance. Yes ultimately the universe gives us the flow that goes both ways!