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bias
August 2009 
who do you think you are? no really.
maornot
Fascinatingly sad how we humans are torn into camps, mentally divided by politics and culture. Looking back to my last blog on an ideal more united We, this take on a We is fed by recent readings of comments to western journalists' blogs (BBC and NPR in Sichuan area). Reports are of human suffering in the aftermath of natural disaster, the 12 May earthquake in Sichuan province China. Yet most of the discussions in comments to blogs are of political nature. in these times high-strung emotions are pouring out gut-reaction comments, dividing chinese and western observers, in the region and on the internet.
(Quote from a NPR blog comment hyperlinked above:)
"That is typical Western cynical, self-righteous, self-important, anti-Chinese, nothing-you-do-is-ever-good-enough-for-me, no-matter-what-I-am-better-than-you attitudes towards not only the Chinese government, but also the Chinese people and the Chinese culture. How utterly ugly it is to know that some Westerners reflect the whole devotion to rescue work as a "show"?!
As if it isn't in Chinese values and Chinese human natures to put priority on saving lives! As if whatever Chinese people and Chinese government do are for the purpose of pleasing Westerners?! How self-important that is! No wonder the Chinese netizens don't have good responses to the Westerners and the Western media.
Some Westerners need to get over their sense of superiority and the fact that they don't own cultural hegemony around the globe. They need to learn how to look at the rest of the world as equal human beings and apply absolutely the SAME standards when judging themselves and others."
Why do we unquestioningly assume we (the I, me) are better at doing such-and-such than someone else? are we really such good models for others? Why don't we for once flip this around and start assuming Others to be right and better, not ourselves... in the same breath if everybody is holding similar assumptions...well? here we come to a grinding halt clashing with Others, on a large national scale and in our daily world. Recently in a quick chat with a friend he got very upset at me for making a personal comment about him. Instantly the discussion turned to Judgement and trying to stay clear of judging. i see the Other saying writing or doing something that is not Me. And then i jump to anti-Me or anti-We suspicions. Hey but wait a second: who came up with that suspicion? oh, me? .... . i made a quick assessment = mental judgement of the situation. My friend spoke it out loud and then walked away.
So we have a choice. We can decide to give good or bad meaning to this saying writing or doing (again, this goes both ways, eg anti-Chinese and anti-American perceptions). How is it that, instead of gift-ing the benefit of the doubt, divisive who-do-you-think-you-are comes to my mind first so often? and that the mind tells this impulsively in actions or heated comments soon after...
How do we get away with thinking of ourselves as good and better at something, than our neighbours and partners? And why don't we go for the preventive benefit of the doubt, (yes, with a little more work to be done), rather than the reactive explosions of the ego? what is this - a law of nature?
NB. And who am I, to write here like this? How can i step outside the box when facing outrage or personally offensive behaviour? hmmm, i'll keep trying ;-)
Access: Public
Speaking ethnically as a Chinese (but also as a naturalized American Citizen), I think that historically we Chinese are just as quick to condemn others and feel superior to others as those who criticize the U.S. Just look at the the mandarin name for China: Middle Kingdom. We Chinese think we're at the center of the world (and of the universe, for that matter)! And who else but we Chinese have the concept of “saving Face” (it's all about pride and ego)?
Perhaps by now some will point a finger at me and call me “banana”. Well, all I can say is, if you ever get crampy legs, potassium from the banana is a gentle way to help :-)
Jokes aside, I believe that the as long as there is duality - however duality manifests (politically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically) - there will be dissension. We have heard that it takes two to Tango, and there you have it, let us dance and enjoy each other.
Jane, thank you for adding your dimension - this is what i find fascinating. As a natural reaction, we seem to usually question others first, not ourselves. At the ego level and the national cultural level. It is just one of those questions that keeps coming back lately. My favourite example is aikido, where the original intention was, is, to create harmony with each other. Now that harmony is perhaps not often visible to to a layperson and even a trained practioner. Yes that duality is playing its part here too. If we were to work from the belief that i am less and the person i'm practicing and dancing with is more, can we come closer to One (and true connecting, on the aikido mat and outside)? Not sure if mandarin has such a version but japanese language has this thinking built into its system. And i do find more gentleness and forgiving here than in Europe and in America.
Then again, i love differences in culture, being, dancing and the energy of newness from fresh encounters, sometimes with someone who has been around but it was today that we shared that moment…when was that? in aikido i come closest to that moment when i was so inevitably absorbed that can't remember what i did - when i wasn't thinking. Well that makes me want to do more of that … aikido and tango! maybe we can combine the two into some new acticity even ;-]]
Aikido is such a wonderful example… I practiced Aikido very briefly, once upon a time (more than 10 years ago) and my Sensei (a muslim from Burma) embodies harmony and love.
What I love about the philosophy of Aikido is not only making brute strength irrelevant, but in fact, to make sure that the Aikido practitioner, when attacked, does not also injure the attacker when deflecting the attacker's blows. That is truly love and forgiveness in action…. Do No Harm, and make sure the person who harms you is not harmed, either.
Two months ago, my husband had a guest from the Netherlands who teaches aikido and came here to join my husband in conducting a non-violent communication workshop with aikido introduction. We invited him home twice and he demonstrated aikido with my son. He started by lifting my son without aikido then after giving some instructions to him, he tried lifting him up again with all his might, and couldn’t. We were all amazed. Then he demonstrated about the finger pushing another person through aikido. Well, I do find martial arts quite interesting!
In response to you blog, indeed it’s sometimes difficult to remain non-judgmental when faced with everyday happenings. All I can say is just focus on myself and how I can change rather than on others and how to change them.
Blessings, maornot!